Happy New Year Everyone!!!! I hope 2017 brings you peace, happiness, joy, and love.
On the topic of love, our tennis queen Serena surprised many when she announced her engagement to the co-founder of Reddit, Alexis Ohanian. While a simple ‘Congratulations’ would have sufficed, butt hurt folks around the world took to various social media platforms to express their disappointment with the engagement. Their choice I guess.
However, a meme created by whomever is behind #CodeRedFlag and shared for discussion by journalist and blogger, Demetria Lucas D’Oyley pushed me to my limit.
First of all, both Serena and Alexis are millionaires. They are not in our tax bracket. Their financial differences aren’t relevant to our average lives. Yet, this meme insinuates that unless the average woman dates a man who’s making less than half her income she’s looking for a come up.
Maybe she just doesn’t want to struggle!!!
I am sick of people wearing struggle as a badge of honour. I am beyond tired of women being shamed for choosing not to bear the financial burdens of a fully grown human being. Where did this idea that you’re shallow if you choose not to struggle in the name of love come from?
Of course, hard times do happen. That’s life. But to willingly jump head first into a pit of struggle and despair???? What rational thinking human being does that?
Furthermore, it is always expected that hard-working, ambitious women compromise, or worse, settle for a relationship in which she primarily bears the financial and emotional burdens. Apparently, a struggle relationship is better than no relationship, right? Smh
Here’s a suggestion, how about we stop glorifying tales of struggle. Please understand that not wanting to spend your whole life in a financial crisis is not a sign of weakness. It is indicative of good decision-making. Why don’t we just encourage men to be better? Aren’t men supposed to be the leaders of families, heads of households and all that jazz. Then, please step it up.
Proponents of struggle love will say that a financially secure woman can push and motivate a man to do better. Men, why do you have to wait on a woman to level up? Any functioning human being with an ounce of ambition should be capable of setting goals and working hard to achieve them. Why should it be a woman’s responsibility to not only work on her own goals, but to support a man financially while he tries to find a plan.
The pro struggle love folk will always try to say that women are gold diggers for wanting a man who’s financially secure. Actually, they will use any one of the popular struggle philosophies to justify nonsense like this meme. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a mate who is on your level financially. I don’t understand why women are shamed for this.
Aren’t finances a leading cause of divorce though?
I think Demetria summed it up nicely in her post:
“Money ain’t everything. But it’s a damn thing.”